If you have visited another country you will have seen the ways those people go about their lives and noted the differences – food, TV, road signs and social habits. Other things are a little more mysterious and take time to unravel – banking systems, etiquette surrounding introductions, subjects not up for discussion. In making comparisons it becomes quickly obvious that some peoples go about their daily business better than others.
Drawing comparisons is an inevitable, and enjoyable, part of journeying. It's a very ancient human thing; Ug and Mug must have compared the relative roominess of their respective caves. To create lists of the relative comparative and useful indicators is usually the provisos of economic analysts or the leaders of domineering right wing political parties –is there a difference? This post fits ill with either and is merely, then, a bit of fun. For brevity’s sake here is an examination of two fairly normal indicators for the United Kingdom and Czech Republic, the weather and food.
The Weather
The United Kingdom is wet. The UK's weather is such an important factor it is always the first item of conversation. Last week, I entered a public house in Chelmsford to partake of a lunchtime pint (more on that later) and sat reading the paper. The regulars turned up with:
“Hello Bob/Fred/Bill. Miserable bloody weather.”
“Oh, I don’t know – sun’s trying to come out.”
“Doesn’t bloody know what it wants to do.”
Etc, etc.
Once the weather was adequately analysed, each patron was able to introduce any other business at hand –ordering their pint, discussing the shortcomings of the new young barman, denigrating the Prime Minister, wondering whether Old Bob/Shorty/Jack/Legs was dead because nobody had seen him for a while. Pub and bar conversations all over the world are probably much the same, but because it is ever-changeable the weather is always the first item in the UK. Its level of analysis may also indicate the general mood and well-being of said analysers and so act as first (disguised) piece of meaningful communication.
British weather is rightly seen as generally notorious, particularly anywhere in the west. It makes for one of the wettest places of Europe, although London now has less rain than Rome, Sydney and New York and parts of East Anglia have become almost arid in nature. Climate change has adversely affected UK weather in both directions.
The weather in the Czech Republic, however, is pretty good. Its continental climate means generally low humidity, benign summers and relatively cool winters. There’s not much more to say about it, other than how enjoyable it is to go for weeks without rain and still have the trees all green and splendid and the rivers flowing. It did get a little nippy last winter when everything got caked in delightful snowyness. This meant that people had to travel to work – IN THE SNOW! As amazing as that sounds to British people, for whom a light dusting of snow spells imminent cessation of all aspects of civilisation and the arrival of mutant zombie white walkers from beyond the wall, work continues in pretty much the same way for Czechs whether there’s cold white stuff on the ground or not. In this way, the Czech Republic wins hands down as a better place to live. But then, if weather was the sole criteria, and the British were asked, almost anywhere in the world would be a better place to live.
Food
The food of the United Kingdom has oft been the subject of worldwide humour, as indicated by this old faxlore:
Heaven is where the police are British, the lovers French, the mechanics German, the chefs Italian, and the Swiss organise it all.
Hell is where the police are German, the lovers Swiss, the mechanics French, the chefs British, and the Italians organise it all.
Any traveller will be quick to understand that food everywhere can be appalling and delightful. British cuisine earned its lamentable reputation between the wars as a result of rationing and difficulties in supply. If the sole culinary experiences of forriners had been made during visits to post-war austerity Britain, then it’s hardly surprising these would have been negative. In the last 30 years or so the general standard of British food has improved leaps and bounds. The public demand for better food quality all round has not been limited to taste but has also extended to service and cleanliness. As a consequence, the United Kingdom is host to some of the most exclusive, imaginative and competent eateries, such as the Fat Duck in Maidenhead, or Gordon Ramsay in London. Admittedly these are rather showy, celebrity chef-owned examples, but they help demonstrate an increased awareness in the level and quality of cuisine.
Another indicator of an increase in the general overall interest of British people in such matters the sheer number of television programmes focused on food – Nigella Bites, Jamie at Home, Can’t Cook Won’t Cook – which also translates to better awareness and eventually better food on plates. Of course, the proof of the pudding is in the eating, and the ability of restaurateurs to attract and maintain regular custom can only be put down to quality, quality, quality. Of course, that’s not to say all eateries are good, but it's safe to say things foody are in a healthier condition now that they have ever been.
Czech food, it must be said, is not something to be generally desired, unless one likes plates full of roasted meats and heavy dumplings. The food tasted is tasty and sourced locally, but it would be sretching the truth to call it excellent: portions are usually large and the service is functional and friendly and, as a rule outside Prague, is very cheap. If that's all you want, then come and get fed, but you certainly won't be able to enjoy the equivalent excellence as that found at Jules Verne up the Eiffel Tower – previously described here.
What redeems the Czech Republic to its everlasting glory are two things: beer and bread. The Czechs are to brewing what Amsterdammers are to the diamond industry – they take a fairly standard natural product and with a little attention to detail create a superior product. It would be a weak palate indeed that could not tell the difference between beautiful Czech beer and the tapped piss that is poured elsewhere for three times the amount (or more). That's not to say artisanal breweries cannot be found in the UK, the US and elsewhere, but here it is part and parcel of the culture. Beer flows in the veins and provides the bedrock upon which most social communication is fastened: work ends and the pivo is poured. I recommend anyone to visit and partake of a beer holiday just to see how wonderful it all is.
Similarly, Czech bread is of a very high quality. It settles well in the stomach and doesn't cause the ridiculous bloating that occurs with shop-brought bread elsewhere. I can only put it down to unadulterated ingredients, particularly the absence of potassium bromate, mono-and diglycerides, sodium stearoyl lactate, calcium propionate, dextrose, and a whole host of other nasties that gets wrapped in cellophane and called bread. Local pekařství (bakeries) are modest and popular. We had our breadmaker shipped over – it sits idly most of the time.
So there you have it, the Czech Republic wins on weather, but fails on food (if bread and beer are excluded). Thus far we have survived here for eight months on only bread and beer. And whilst the Velká Britanies may be enjoying better grub nowadays, they're certainly paying too much for it. I hate to admit it, but in conclusion the Czech Republic wins overall on both weather and food categories.
As to that pint and paper in Chelmsford I mentioned earlier, it was vinegary and spoiled – dirty taps no doubt, and nearly put me off my perusal of the Guardian (don't get papers like that in the Czesky Republiky). I asked for another and that was also vinegary. For a moment, I doubted the integrity of my taste buds until I sampled a third, Doom Bar, and that was just about good enough. I'll put it down to bad luck. The pint of Budding at the Prince Albert in Stroud was, as usual, excellent and without that I would have been wholly given over to the Czech stuff.
Ah well, another day another pint.
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