He looked at his professor – he had his doubts; of that he was certain. Despite the softness of advanced age, the baldpate, the wispy hair, the thin arms and loose-fitting tweed jacket, Martin Jarvis appeared to be made of granite.
Nothing appeared little to faze him; a lifetime of student comings and goings, of departmental battles and managerial problems, made him a professor that truly professed something. And yet, this very professorial air seemed to be mere clouds that had gathered around a very ignoble peak, disguising the real character of a very false man. Beneath it all, the fluff and merry tutorial airs, once the hard-nosed investigative soul got close enough –was permitted to be close enough– those real underlying doubts would surface for sure: they’d be there, like cracks on the surface of a smooth high alpine glacier. And if he really worked his pick in, he could shatter the man to a thousand pieces.
They had worked through Kierkegaard’s existentialism; the understanding of existence preceding essence, that meaning is given to the essence of life, and of the absurdity implicit in this living at any one moment in time. Of course, none of this had been a problem, for it was easy to follow this good teacher’s instructions in philosophy. Not only had he undoubtedly kept to a familiar yearly teaching routine, probably for decades, but he also made the subject seem so very applicable. Twice each week his students went back to their digs with new ideas buzzing around in their heads, ideas with meaning could be important in the very living of their lives; how to be true to oneself, to find meaning, to travel a path through the thoughts of others, and to raise a whole host of important questions that would never stop troubling the mind until death’s release.
But one thing troubled him – Professor Jarvis’s ‘authenticity’.
Firstly, he took in the whole idea of authenticity that had been introduced in the natural discourse on the historical development of philosophy. The professor touched upon it when they had examined Kierkegaard’s reasoning that in order to be authentic one had to form one’s own ideas. It had been developed much further with regard to Nietzsche’s ideas of the shedding of the herd mentality. Later, in Heidegger, it had arisen with the identity of ‘mine-self’ as opposed to the ‘they-self’ in society, and had led to a great conclusions of Fromm and Sartre and then…
On the face of it, this seemed a preposterous question. What did he mean by authentic? Would he recognize it if he saw it? And who had given him the notion that he could sit in cold judgment on as steady and as fine-minded a soul as the professor's? But who else would do it?
It occurred to him that authenticity only appeared when all doubt had disappeared. If doubt persisted, then how could a teacher, a real life exponent of the very thing you were studying, be said to have reached what would be described as an authentic life. He had to be exactly what was in the philosophical prescription. When the clouds parted and the peak was finally visible, then the granite had better be solid, unshakeable, without fissure. If it was not, then decisive action was required – action derived from his own authentic, non-herd-like deliberations.
Section 2 – Decision
A) He reasons that the professor must die and finds a way to justify taking violent action against his inauthenticity, but when challenged finds the motives for his very own actions to be equally inauthentic. He walks away forever dejected.
B) He raises strong philosophical arguments concerning the role of authenticity in the lives and prognostications of philosophers and by comparison judges Prof Martin Jarvis to be unworthy of his title. He has killed his reputation and walks away triumphant.
C) He violently argues with the professor regarding his authenticity, yet loses on account of his own shortcomings and goes on to see in the professor's life a philosophical path that can be followed. Nevertheless, he walks away vowing to return.
D) He takes his time in choosing the right moment to ambush the professor in class, tearing away his misleading propositions and coming to the realisation that the professor should follow only one course of action – authenticity or death. He physically kills him with his bare hands...
Section 3 – Doubt
Comments