I'd like to think of myself as a generous soul – perhaps, even, to a fault: many-a poor toe has been painfully trodden on, to be met with a rejoin no worse than an apology – of my own (why do we do that?). I once had a hockey stick dropped through my Toyota's rear view window. Expecting a angry tirade, the teacher who drew my attention to the misdemeanour was astonished that I merely shrugged and walked away. I recall saying that getting angry wouldn't accomplish anything: the kids knew that what they had done was wrong and their parents would pay-up. Most things, after all, just aren't worth the puff!
I have a low threshold, however, when it comes to things writteded bad in the Englishe tongue. It's not so much spelling and grammar, although that does occasionally generate heat under the collar. I care little for aluminums and aluminiums, color and colours, and I apologise when I recognize an organised traveler fuelled with oestrogen on defence manouvers, but I would always demand continuity. If you can read it, then you can understand it. And if you really want to know, then check Shakespeare about bloody spelling!
No, my gripe is with superfluous online English, particularly with regard to Facebook. It's the unnecessariness of it all. Let's begin with the wank word, 'Enjoy'. Why, oh why, would anyone write it? The word is a verb, as in I share in your anticipation and really hope you do something you will enjoy, but not a command: ENJOY EXTERMINATING THE DOCTOR!
Would someone wonder about the enjoyment of a particular occasion if 'Enjoy' was not added to a post?
ME: Going to Thailand tomorrow
IDIOT: Enjoy
ME: Wow! Just as well you wrote that – I was prepared for 2 weeks of misery, but now I've changed my mind
The next is 'LOL' – Laugh Out Loud. Does this EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER need to be written? 'Ha-ha' is very nearly as bad, but LOL is right up there with the wankiest of wank words that has no possible relevance to anything anyone has said or written ever. Would you say it?
THE QUEEN: Arise, Sir Richard of Olomouc
ME: LOL
If the Facebook post was amusing, then perhaps a private chortle would suffice. If it is hilarious, then perhaps a suitable word could be used to express approval like, oh I don't know, Hilarious! If it is downright side-splitting, then by all means share, but on no account should those trodden dog turd three letters be left as a useless, nauseating comment.
The last, 'Amazing!', I am afraid to admit, I have used. I share in the sadness of this very non-descriptive description. Some things, after all, are amazing, but the word on its own is sadly bereft of narrative or detailed usefulness. It is put in as one of the three FB sins only because of it's regularity. Even now I cringe at having been amazed – after all, who really cares if I am amazed?
Well, that's about it. Please think before posting about eating cake, having an ice cream, that the weather is cold/hot/wet/dry or that you've been to the gym or ridden on a train. I know, I know – I'm as guilty as anyone of the travel excitement thing, but I do try to make it interesting. And I post pictures that are Amazing! So, Enjoy! LOL
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