This post is about imaginary people – what they are, what they aren't and how imaginary people can help you.
First, what they are. Imaginary people are figments of the imagination. I live with imaginary people. In fact I work with imaginary people. I meet them every day, talk to them and listen to the conversations they have with other imaginary people. They have yet to talk back to me, and have not done so to anyone else I know for that matter, but that's OK: I think I'd be very worried if that actually happened.
My job, if that's what I should call it, involves the creation of people, complete with histories, mannerisms, motives, fears and delights. In fact, the name of the game is to make these people so convincing, so completely believable, that their existence does not come into question. Only then do the imaginary people really come to life.
So, for instance, I have made a relatively new acquaintance, Harvey Norman. He lives in Brisbane Australia, drives an ambulance for a living, likes to go bike riding and last saw his father the morning after he beat up his mum. He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to meet his future wife today on a beach. She will have a lot to say to him, once she works out he's not a total jerk. Not sure if he's going to be a friend yet.
As then there's the local Olomouc police Inspector who will investigate the brutal murder of two students on Franklinova. He must also work with a pretty, young graduate who has just become a deputy inspector, is half his age and has ideas of her own. Their chemistry may bring them together, but may also push them apart.
Other imaginary people may have lived thousands of years ago, watched sunrises over the African savanna before people lived in houses, or may not yet have been born because their cocoon is in stasis on their starship travelling towards Alpha Centauri at close to the speed of light.
Now, this might sound all fine and dandy to you ordinary folk that work for a living, but there is a problem: imaginary people don't go away. In fact, they are always there — when you wake up and go to bed, when you eat or go to the toilet, when you go shopping or have a drink at the pub. They sometimes appear when people are talking to you, or when having a drink with friends. They put in an awkward appearance at the most tender of moments and enjoy showing up for a laugh when life is intolerable. After a while you just can't stop them from turning up just about everywhere!
If you think that all this is reminiscent of a psychosis like schizophrenia or a disease like dementia, well then you're nearly right. Let me remind you that in order for imaginary people to be real they have to be believable, not just by other people but especially by the person who does the imagining. After all, Luke Skywalker and Harry Potter 'did not exist' until George Lucas and J.K. Rowling brought them to life. Their birth was essential – the creator had to make them walk, talk, have a reason to get up in the morning as well as save the universe and didn't stop until their imaginariness became a reality.
Imaginary people should be lifelike and interesting, but they do not have to be your friends – in fact, you can do terrible things to them. There is a perverse pleasure in plotting someone's death or their descent into depression.
But there's a problem with imaginary people. Sometimes they are too normal. Real life is actually a bit weird, and sometimes completely unbelievable. Thus, and rather unfortunately, George Bush wasn't an imaginary person. He probably wouldn't have fulfilled even a single category on the 'believability criteria', even less so if you were to add all sorts of impossible details — for instance, that he couldn't spell but that he was elected American president – twice!!
The second point is what they are not: they aren't ghosts, spirits, aliens, spooks or things that go bump in the night. These may, or may not, be imaginary, but they have not been deliberately created by me. I have seen ghosts and strange things, but I haven't had any of them talk to me – at least not directly. If they did I think I might be a little scared. And if I wasn't scared then perhaps I ought to go to a local mental hospital.
They are also not the sort of imaginary friends that a child may have in his or her private imaginary world. These friends may be there to help the child cope with difficulties or loneliness and the child usually leaves them behind as they grow up.
The third point is how imaginary people can help you. If you have an imaginary character who is a little underemployed, then perhaps you can get him to do something for you. For example, use him to go through issues that you are facing now. Rehearse how the imaginary person would cope in that job interview you did badly at? How would he organise a holiday? How would he deal with your boss or lecturer or landlord? This has its risks – depending on who they are, they might resolve every problem with a punch on the nose, or by wetting their pants. On the other hand, they might resolve your problems through charm, excellent logic and satisfying responses to questions.
There you have it: imaginary people are completely believable living people, that are not ghosts, and who may be able to do some good in your life and help resolve issues. So, from all of us, thank you.
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